First, set your sights on your target. What do you want to achieve? Whether it’s a promotion, a new job, or a personal goal, be clear about what you’re aiming for. Write it down and visualize yourself achieving it. This will help you stay motivated and focused.
If you, or someone you know work within any of these occupations listed below, you must read this book as soon as possible. if you have been struggling emotionally regardless of your job, career or occupation, this book will benefit you. By reading this book you may save many lives, even your own.
Kevin Bennett has been a valuable facilitator providing workshops on ‘Understanding Customer Mindset and Behaviors’ to business owners enrolled in our DeK Growth London and Enterprise Steps programs. Kevin’s expertise, professionalism, and passion for going the extra mile have led to clients and stakeholders requesting more workshops and one-to-one support. I am extremely grateful for the support Kevin has provided via our ERDF programs at LSBU—South Bank Innovation Department. My time working with Kevin has been excellent and I look forward to working with him in the near future.
Staff morale was at an all-time low in Croydon’s Children’s Social Care after receiving an inadequate judgment from Ofsted, when Kevin Bennett came to provide staff with one-to-ones to not only assist them with their day-to-day work, but to inspire and reignite the light that made them choose a profession within social care. The sessions were oversubscribed and staff requested more time due to how impactful and life-changing the sessions had been, which then led to Kevin hosting a half-day conference to a service of over 100 people. To date, staff still talk about and use Kevin to facilitate numerous workshops, which is testament to his approach and passion to building others. As the morale started to shift, the atmosphere was changing, trust was being built, and staff were able to rebuild a system that was previously broken with this new lease on life; something everyone was grateful for as he was given a mammoth task, of which he rose to and conquered with a smile, even when it was tough. We look forward to continuing to work with Kevin in the future.
Kevin Bennett plays a big instrumental part in helping our young people at Peckham BMX to reach their goals in times of difficulty when they are struggling with their mental focus at the British Olympic team. Kevin Bennett continues to give his time to help young people in reaching their goals and aspirations. Regards Michael Pusey MBE
Traumatic events tend to enigmatically visit everyone at some point in their lives. Some of us become engrossed with our traumas and start to investigate them fervently. I am one of those people.
So, why did I write this book?
I learned the hard way by pretending that most of my traumas and the events that caused them never existed. This caused me psychological pain in my later life, and I silently hoped that my physical and emotional traumas would just somehow disappear. This turned out to be even more unrealistic and arduous than just seeking therapy in the first place. Not dealing with my previous traumas allowed my current traumas to attach themselves in a kind of romantic outlandish foreplay.
What stresses the mind, sickens the body. It became normal for me to have shoulder and back pain, a stiff neck, and headaches. Yearly broken relationships and heartaches all stemmed from me running away from any loving relationship that made me feel even a hint of vulnerability. These were the prices I paid for not dealing with my traumas.
“I am a killer. That’s a fact! That thought goes through your head; that thought doesn’t leave,” says Dr. Alex Hellman, as he stares into his bathroom mirror, his tone of voice sad, low, and matter-of-fact. While shaving and shaping the outline of his thin beard, he continues, “Actions of mine contributed to a man’s death.” Dr. Hellman’s eyes are reflective. He has much more to say, despite his great emotional pain.
“I was paged to take this patient to the operating room so we could repair his bleeding. We put a breathing tube in to enable surgery to find the bleeding. When I put in the new breathing tube, his heart rate went down to zero and it became clear.” Hellman stops and shakes his head, “He was not going to wake up.”
Who fights for the firefighters?
A human conveyor belt of anxious helpers lined up along the first-floor communal way, and down the creaking old stairs that led into the adjacent parking lot where the Brixton Soup Kitchen van and cars were awaiting. They were to be filled with food, clothing, and other essentials. We were more than equipped with those essentials to help others but, in hindsight, I realize we were not even close to being prepared or equipped for our own emotional traumas to come. Our destination—Grenfell Tower!.
It was a date that people in the UK will never forget—June 14, 2017. It was 1 p.m.—three hours in and finally, our tired hands were buttering the last of the bread in the Brixton Soup Kitchen. Into the plastic containers, Jennifer and two of her assistants packed the hundreds of freshly cooked sweetcorn and tuna pasta meals they spent the entire morning preparing. In another room, Solomon, Hash, Micah, and dozens of helpers prepared and packed clothing donated by the local community. A mountain of men’s, women’s, and children’s clothing was packed into bags and boxes, alongside drinks, personal hygiene products, and toiletries.
Caution, proceed with care. The raw truth of what nurses really think and feel may offend you! What are the thoughts and mindsets of some nurses, and why do they get stressed out, burned out, and even depressed?
Mary Dix: “I feel like I am an ER nurse, a social worker, a psych nurse, an ICU nurse, and even a counselor. I think the most stressful thing about nursing is knowing the fact that people’s lives are in my hands.”
Olivia Taylor, “I don’t want to sound ungrateful, or like I hate my job. Being a nurse can be fulfilling and at times rewarding. With that said, my colleagues and I get stressed because patients and families have become so entitled and rude, with unrealistic expectations coupled with the hospital’s unrealistic expectations of how many patients we nurses can safely care for. Sometimes I feel like I’m the emissary in the film 300, being kicked into the bottomless pit for delivering news that is out of my control and is definitely not my fault.
I have been physically attacked, spat at, and spat on many times. Once, I was told, “You bitch, I hope you die of the most painful cancer” spoken by a patient who had cancer. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night and get anxious on my way to work, dreading what I may endure that day.”
Do you have a solution for when you are in a dark place?
I am extremely impassioned about how people receive active knowledge on how planets, stars, prayers, and intentions can change one’s life and circumstances forever. It will be my life achievement and success if I have somehow persuaded you through the reading of this book that suicide is not the only way out, and that living with depression is not the only way to live. Stress is not your last name and should not be adopted into your life like a surrogate for your happiness. I would like to fervently put forward another compelling reason but, this time, about the power of your brain and mind. I would like to somehow convince you that you can make yourself happy regardless of your current circumstances, or any other previous traumatic experiences that may be negatively controlling your daily life.
As she leaped to her death, was she thinking, “It’s time for me to finally sleep. No more ‘perfect’ smiles, no more perfection, no more expectations, no more online bullying, no more discrimination, no more darkness, no more pain, no more feelings of hopelessness, no more disappointment. Just no more!” The death of another amazing helpline, Sunrise: April 28th, 1991, Jackson, Michigan. Sunset: January 30th, 2022, Midtown Manhattan, New York. Cause of death: suicide. Rest in peace Cheslie Kryst, aged 30 years old.
Born to a Polish American father who was a bodybuilder and an African American mother who was crowned Mrs. North Carolina 2002. Kryst had five siblings—four brothers and one sister. As a child, Kryst was an introvert and a nerd as she proclaimed in one of her many YouTube videos. Kryst’s family moved from Michigan to Charlotte, North Carolina, when Kryst was young. They later settled in Rock Hill, South Carolina, where Kryst attended Northwestern High School. The family then moved a few more times over the years and Kryst attended a number of schools. There was something special about Kryst.
“Why am I so flipping angry all the time?” Amy said, as she leaned forward with an intense glare. Her eyes were searching for meaning while she rubbed her sweaty palms on her trendy, ripped jeans. Amy tapped her Louboutin heels on her real oak floor in rapid succession.
I replied, “Why are you so flipping angry all the time?” Now I lean forward, matching and mirroring Amy’s tonality and body language.
Pensively, Amy leans back in a moment of stillness, biting her bottom lip hard. She lowered her glare, shifting from anger to sadness. She muttered, “I have everything but yet I have nothing.” “Nothing?” I responded. “Nothing,” Amy replied. “You have sweaty palms,” I jokingly countered. Amy’s belief system and her regular pattern of behavior would normally spiral her down from sadness to depression to guilt to anger, then back to sadness again. Amy chuckled. “I do have sweaty palms,” she admitted as she rubbed her hands together in a self-comforting motion as the energy in the room lightened.
In Chapter 1, we talked about Dr. Hellman, the anesthetist, and spoke briefly about his five stages of success and failure. I would now like to focus on those five stages again, but now about your success and the journey to it. I want to fully dedicate this chapter to you with worksheets for you to fill out, and goals and affirmations to commit to. The first chapters of the book were about emotional pain and trauma. I want to mostly now focus on happiness and growth, and what it takes to achieve them.
So, let’s do a quick recap. There are five stages to a powerful self-belief and knowing system. These five stages will give you an unwavering desire to succeed in life. There are also five stages to point-blank failure. The science of these five stages of success and failure is in the same sequential order.
Let’s explore again what those five stages are.
Success is subjective, however, there are some fundamentals that need to be in place—regardless of who you are—for your success to be achieved. For example, to be successful you must feel good. To be successful, you must be of sound mind and health. To be successful, you must feel some form of inner love and accomplishment.
These are the fundamentals, but there are others that I believe must be in place to be inwardly and outwardly successful. Now, remember, I am aware that success is subjective, so please work with me here. Throughout societies globally, most—but not all—people tend to measure their success based on some main factors. These factors include the type of job they have, the letters after their name, the car, and house they own, the amount of money they have in the bank, and the impeccable reputation they have built within their community and among their peers.
People strive for these things in order to be successful, and one day with hard work and persistence, they achieve the title, the job, the house, the car, the admiration, and the money they want. They are seen and celebrated as being successful. But is this true?
Marlo said, “It’s nice,” as he looked down at Andre’s big, sparkling gold ring. “What?” Andre replied, following Marlo’s nod toward the ring on his finger. “Oh, you like that?” asked Andre, uncomfortably rubbing, and twisting his ring from side to side. He hoped the conversation with Marlo would just somehow disappear. “I’ve had it for a long time now,” Andre said, trying his best to look and sound as confident as possible. “It’s got some sentimental value. It’s just a thing,” Andre continued, trying to downplay the value of his prized possession.
Marlo menacingly stared at the ring, then moved his eyes up into Andre’s fearful face. “What’s the real value?” Marlo asked. “Huh?” Andre uttered, hearing every word that Marlo said but trying to stall for time. He needed to think of a plausible answer that would save him and the precious gold ring that he worshiped. But before he could say anything else, Marlo interrupted him. “Real value?” asked Marlo, demanding the ring with a hand gesture. Season 4, Episode 4, the cult series, The Wire.
As I watched the episodes throughout season 4, I noticed that this ring kept on popping up everywhere and anywhere bad things happened. It wasn’t a special ring, and it wasn’t worth thousands, but it held a power that would lead people to fight and even kill over it. From one negative sadistic killer to another, the ring would somehow seek out new owners to curse.
We are all governed by laws. Some laws we choose to recognize, and others we choose to ignore. Some laws we know, and others we are oblivious to. Laws are laws, and all laws must be understood, respected, and obeyed—if you want a happy, prosperous life. Now when I talk about laws, you may think I’m talking about government acts, statutes, constitutions, regulations, codes, and human-made laws. Human-made laws are different from God’s laws, Universal laws, and planetary laws.
Let me explain in greater depth. God made humans with divine laws; humans then made human-made laws to rule over humankind. Human-made laws can never, should never, and will never trump God’s laws, Universal laws, and planetary laws. For example, humans made laws about taxes, travel, dress codes, and even speech, based on the democracy of the people or the tyranny of a ruler. If no one is looking, these human-made laws can be broken and there will be no consequences for the law-breaker. Human-made laws will always change as time and people change. God’s laws, Universal laws, and planetary laws will never change and have never changed throughout human history.
It costs companies and governments billions in sick pay, mental healthcare, and well-being awareness courses. Every day, we are seeing large companies and governments that are dripping with immoral behavior and greed introduce emotionless robots and AI systems to replace our workers. This will change the balance of this planet.